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Give me the remote
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A family that watches telly together stays together. But, what about etiquette?
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Epithets that are not recommended for drawing room conversation escape from the windows next door as a shrill voice and a gruff one, both feminine, almost bring the roof down. Then a male voice, equally loud, says, “Enough is enough”. The
re is a whimper and a storming of feet down the stairs. Discreet enquiries revealed that the shrill voice belonged to the grand daughter and the gruff one to the grandma. The subject of dispute was the idiot box. While grandma wanted to watch religious serials the young Miss naturally was sore at having missed the latest on MTV and her fave Hindi serials. The next day, a small yellow, autorickshaw carrier swerved to a halt at the gate next door and a television box emerged from its interiors. The young Miss probably had her way and the new television upstairs, her dream for quite some time, turned into a reality.
Every urban household has that second television but listen to what Shriya Singh, a bahu of a north Indian business family settled in the South says, “There are four televisions in our house. My husband and son watch only sports on the television in the sitting room. I watch my Hindi serials and news sometimes in the guest bedroom. My brother watches only BBC and NDTV in his room. The helpers love to watch risqué songs on the television in the kitchen.” The television has spawned a whole new set of rules or mayhem as the case may be, in homes. With every member of the family insisting on more and more freedom, freedom to do what one likes, freedom to watch what one likes, the idea of sharing and bonding has taken a back seat. In an age of plenty, the nuclear family is also splitting, each member seeking his/her own space for longer and longer periods. At first it is one’s own bedroom, then it becomes own television and then, own friends, own computer, own interests and the ‘family’ living under one roof has little to do with one another.
A divorce actually happened courtesy television, if the woman is to be believed. She told a marriage counsellor, “All the time, my mother-in-law watches serials and that is not my cup of TV,” Though her husband bought her a new television, it failed to save the marriage, according to the counsellor.
Earlier a family that prayed together stayed together. Today a family that watches television together stays together. Having dinner together is something few families enjoy, as each one is engrossed in either the television or the computer and unless the dining room is close by, dinner is eaten in happy solitude, with children hardly knowing what they swallow, bursting out laughing at what goes on in Pogo or any of the cartoon channels. Dining room conversations and heart-to-heart chats between parents and children, in a home where the television screams, have become almost impossible.
“I see to it that the television is not switched on during dinner. There is so much of peace then, and I feel I can think straight, with no interruptions,” sighs Susheela, a bank officer. At homes where there are school going children, keeping the volume low helps, but channel surfing seems to eat up a huge chunk of time. “I get so angry with my husband, who can keep on surfing for more than half an hour. You don’t get to see or understand anything when you do that. I just get up and go away, and he knows I’m upset,” complains Rema Sundaram, a college lecturer.
“Yes”, agrees Susheela, who has to please her children, husband, in laws and guests from her village, whenever the television is switched on. “There should be something called television etiquette. Some people who are guests tell you without any qualms that they have to see that serial and change the channel.
That’s when my husband sulks or my children go to their rooms in protest. But you cannot displease your guests. It’s the guests who should have manners,” she says.
Tastes differ but trying to adjust helps solve this problem. Watching television together, commenting on what you see and having a good time keeps the family together and it becomes a happy activity. Giving up a favourite programme for that is worth it. Having umpteen televisions in the house may stop quarrels between the grandma and granddaughter, but it will not bring them any closer, each one being in his/her own world.
Maybe cricket matches bring part of the family together. By the way, has anyone, any survey counted the man (or woman?) hours wasted nationally before the idiot box, when cricket is on? Nevertheless, it helps bring about some sort of bonding. A television etiquette and culture for families is the need of the hour in today’s society.
PREMA MANMADHAN
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Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Coimbatore
Delhi
Hyderabad
Kochi
Madurai
Mangalore
Puducherry
Tiruchirapalli
Thiruvananthapuram
Vijayawada
Visakhapatnam
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